I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize