I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
