do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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