You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize