the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
