Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
