names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
