its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
