he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
