Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
