just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
