Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
