I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
