This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
