I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
