question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
