she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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