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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
wow bdsm is so cute
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