I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
