I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize