I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
