margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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