i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
