I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
