She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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