I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
