Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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