I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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