And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
