So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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