I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize