Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
