I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
