I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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