I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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