You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
