So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
