he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
