i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
