I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
