She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
