eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
