were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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