I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
