I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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