If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
