I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
