Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
