I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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