Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize