You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
