I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
