you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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