I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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