I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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