She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Don't EVER smell your tampon
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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