DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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