I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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