Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love having hate sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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